


Out of the Sunshine

by virtual_living



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Character Death, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Gen, Sad, what else to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-04 11:13:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14591793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virtual_living/pseuds/virtual_living
Summary: Alex dies and everything change. Kara wants revenge and Sam wants to die. Happy ending eventually, with maybe a final chapter which will have a dark ending.Really bad at Tagging. Suggestion for Tags based on the story would be welcome.





	1. The Tragedy

**Author's Note:**

> The story may be triggering for some. I'm not sure on what level and how can I tag it appropriately. Please avoid if character death is painful to read.

This was never the plan. This was not how it was supposed to end. In tears, in tragedy, in death.

They were supposed to have a happy ending. Alex was going to find a cure for her, and then they would have been a family. She, Alex, and Ruby. A makeshift family in beginning and maybe something more later on. A happy future with dinners and game nights at Kara, cocktail events at L-Corp, and every day domesticity with Alex. This is what she hoped for, this is what she believed in.

And then it all came crashing down.

Reign and Supergirl were in midst of their final fight. It was an all-out attack from their Trinity of Reign, Purity, and Pestilence. This was a fight to the end which the other side seemed to know. Kara didn’t hold back and her ferocity made Reign even madder and more feral. Mon-el and Imra had taken down Pestilence while J’onn J’onnz had neutralized Purity. Loss of her sisters made Reign even more desperate.

She screamed and lashed out with her full powered laser attack at Kara. Alex was Alex to her last breath. The instinct to protect Supergirl, her little sister, so inherently coded in her DNA that she didn’t even pause to think before she jumped in front of her to take that fatal blast from Reign.

Time seemed to slow down as Alex limp body fell to the ground. Kara knelt down to pick Alex, crying and shaking Alex in hope to get a response. J’onn was stunned in disbelief and the look of horror on the faces of Imra and Mon-el was proof of what has happened. There were no last words from Alex as she died in her sister’s arms.

Reign felt jubilant and victorious, but only for a moment. Sam has snapped and seconds later it was Sam who walked towards a devastated Kara. She knelt in front of Kara and reached out to touch Alex. To plead her to wake up, to come back to her.

Kara looked at Sam, in Reign costume, and for couple of seconds she didn’t seem to comprehend anything who was in front of her. As the tears from her eyes cleared, she took in Reign, kneeling in front of her, and went crazy.

 **“You”.** The snarl was followed by a highly intense laser beam from Supergirl. Sam couldn’t even respond before she was thrown across like a rag doll. It was Reign’s strength that saved her, but she suppressed her down even as the grief-crazed Kryptonian rushed at her. She closed her eyes and waited for the final blow to fell, which never came. When she opened her eyes, she saw Supergirl lying on the ground, some few feet away from her, body riddled with Kryptonite bullets. All the DEO agents have carried the standard guns and ammunition to be used against the rogue Kryptonian but had to use them on their own. J’onn has finally snapped back in action. He didn’t want Supergirl to turn into a murderer on account of Reign. Supergirl kept fighting through the Kryptonite to reach to Sam before she passed out. 

Sam offered no resistance as J’onn approached and handcuffed her. She only felt the prick of the needle before her world went dark.


	2. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotionally abusive Kara and self-loathing Sam. Please avoid if such story-line is triggering.

There was no way to know how many days had passed in her captivity. The guards who delivered her food seemed more inclined to rather give poison. A kinder fate for someone who has killed Alex, the most beloved agent of DEO. She could keep count of the meals to track the passage of the time, but she had no will. Alex was dead and Sam was safe, away from her, away from a killer, and nothing else mattered.

Lena was a regular visitor, trying to break through the stoic silence she has maintained since she has opened her eyes in the cell. J’onn has visited occasionally demanding answers to the questions she never heard. She hoped, and feared, that Kara would visit, but she never did.

She hasn’t spoken a word, till today that is. Today was the funeral. Lena sat on the other side of the glass panel as she told Sam about it. All of Alex’s friends and colleagues were there. Kara, Eliza, and J’onn have spoken about the life of Alex Danvers, her courage, her passion, and her heart. All gone because of her. How easy was it to snuff that light, how tough to live with the darkness. She only hoped that the words she kept repeating to Lena would matter somehow – I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

Kara came to her in the evening. She was accompanied by J’onn and Lena who flanked her and sat farther than the usual distance Lena did. Once the glass glimmered with green Kryptonite, the reason was clear to Sam. J’onn was still not taking any chance with Kara when it comes to her.

“I want to be alone with her.” Lena seemed startled with the demand and J’onn looked unsure. Kara chuckled weakly, “You don’t have to worry about me hurting her, I’ll not be able to break the glass.”

Sam looked at the glass which seemed like a plain two-way glass but apparently was infused with Kryptonite to handle Reign-level eventuality, or Supergirl-level, in this case. J’onn nodded and started to leave. Lena whispered something in Kara’s ear, looked imploringly at Sam, and then left with J’onn after a quick squeeze to Kara’s shoulder. 

“How are you, Sam?” There was no reply. She didn’t know what to say except to keep her head down.

Kara carried on. “Ruby is fine. She is staying with Lena. Maybe she will join the school in coming weeks. Lena works a lot these days. She wants to create the cure to free you from Reign, but between you and me, I don’t think that’s necessary. Is it Sam?” Her eyes snapped up at Kara who was looking at her as though trying to understand what was going in her mind.

“Winn hardly ever laughs now. He is happy to work on whatever tasks J’onn assigns and has taken on himself to overhaul the defense systems. I think, it is just an excuse to keep his mind occupied. James doesn’t admit but he is going out as Guardian every night, good excuse to let out his frustrations on some poor thief. J’onn is focused on the work and has started spending more time with his father. Eliza is staying with me, I think she is afraid to lose her other daughter.” 

Tears were falling down Sam’s face as Kara kept telling her about how everyone is doing in the aftermath. Everyone but her. She has to ask her that, she owed Alex that much.  
“And how are you?”

“I buried my sister today so your guess is as good as mine.” There was no mirth in Kara’s smile, if anything, it was a perversion of the sunny smile which always adorned the blonde’s face. Sam could feel her breath hitch again as he focused on the floor tiles with even more tears falling.

“How do you live with yourself, Sam? How do you live with the knowledge that you killed someone who treated you like family, who tried to cure you, who was there for you and your daughter? Reign didn’t kill her. Reign has not shown her face since that battle. Lena may think that you and Reign are separate, but it is not true, is it? You and Reign are same. You have always been the killer which everyone said until you killed someone you cared for.”

The venom coming from Kara was scarier given the fact that she was as calm as accusing Sam of being Reign as she would be stating the fact that Sun rises in the east. There was no accusation, no attempt of finding some big revelation, as far as she was concerned, these were the facts. Sam couldn’t do anything else but stare at her.

“Don’t look so surprised, Sam. I know that you liked her. I’ll not deny that. That’s why the question. How do you live with yourself? How will you live with yourself after Lena invents the “cure” and you are “cured”? How will you face Ruby who knows that you are a killer?”

The last part hurt. Kara was being uncharacteristically cruel, and was as effective in this new avatar as in her sunshine self. She wanted to move her gaze away, to look at anything else but Kara’s face. But her voice was hypnotic; she felt like a deer caught in the headlight, waiting for the impact.

“You know the answer, Sam, don’t you? There is no happily ever after for you. There can never be. You can’t go on living with what you have done. I can help you, if you want, I can save you from this fate.”

Finally, the realization dawned. The understanding of what Kara has suggested. Her eyes flickered towards the green-tinted glass without of her own accord. Kara understood.

“Don’t worry about the glass. I don’t need to break it. One of the agent who is in the security detail has given me the passcode. He was Alex’s protégée. Brought in DEO by her, trained by her, he wanted to play his part. I can enter your cell and by the time the alarm alerts J’onn and Lena, it will be all over.”

Sam looked back at her. She wouldn’t mind the idea of a quick painless death. She has fought with herself on all the questions which Kara has raised. It felt like Kara has actually peeked in her mind, read her thoughts, and said them out aloud to her. But would Kara be able to live with herself after the act? Will her friendship with Lena survive? She wasn’t sure about J’onn and others who may forgive her, but would Lena? All she need to do is nod and her misery would be over, but can she be selfish enough? Would Alex have wanted this? She will never know, she has killed Alex.

She didn’t realize that her eyes were closed. She opened them and looked at Kara who was looking at her with a calm, yet terrible, intensity, waiting for an answer. Sam took a deep breath to calm herself. She knew what her decision was going to be.


	3. Some years later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Happy Ending

Sam sat on the plastic chair with a shawl around her shoulders to ward off the evening chill. Her hands were wrapped around the coffee cup for some warmth as her eyes tracked Ruby’s movements on the football field. Ruby was now a regular for her School team playing as the Right Wing Midfielder, a position she likes because she could attack, defense, and assist, as needed. Sam had a theory that she chose this position to honor Alex in her own way, but she never voiced it out aloud.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

Lena’s voice brought her back to the game. She has again drifted away, something she does a lot in her free time. Day dreams of things that could have been were as much a part of her free time as corporate presentations and board room meetings were of her office time. She gave a quick smile to Lena, took a sip from her cup, and directed her focus back to the game. The referee blew the whistle and as players started to shake hands with each other, parents started to collect their chairs, blankets, and other stuff.

“Kara called, she will meet us at the Diner. Winn and James will come later at her place for the Game night.”

* * *

_“I don’t want to die, Kara. Or rather, I don’t want to make you a murderer. Alex would never want that.”_

_Anger swelled in the emotionless eyes as Kara screamed and lunged towards the glass. She banged on the glass with as much force as she could muster as Kryptonite took its toll. In her anger to reach Sam, the thought of using the pass code to open the door was long gone._

_“How dare you say her name? Saving your own pathetic life using her as an excuse. I’ll kill you, Sam, I’ll kill you and no one will be able to stop me.”_

_It felt like eternity, but only seconds passed before J’onn was in the room. He tried to restrain Kara as she kept hitting her bloodied knuckles on the glass. Soon she was unconscious due to the Kryptonite. J’onn gave a sad look to Sam and walked away with a limp Kara in his arms._

* * *

_Lena came through as promised. She developed a treatment plan of serum plus radiation plus hypnosis to ensure that even the tiniest traces of Reign from her psyche is rooted out. Sam’s new found control over Reign helped as she was powerless to fight against them._

_She was released from DEO after a couple of days and was escorted back to her house by Lena, Winn, and James. She didn’t let go of Ruby for a long time after she hugged her. Silent tears kept flowing through the night._

* * *

_Sam joined work after a couple of days. Lena has asked her to take as much rest as she wanted, but she had spent a lot of time alone with her thoughts and it was time to occupy herself with the routine of a normal life._

_Weeks passed and she fell back in that comfortable routine. Getting up, breakfast with Ruby, Office, meetings and meetings and meetings, back to home, dinner with Ruby as a movie played in the background, and sleep. She was in middle of drafting a long mail to one of their major shareholder when she was distracted by a quick succession of message notifications._

_“Hi.”_

_“How are you?”_

_Can we meet for Coffee?”_

_“Noonan? At 4 pm?”_

_Her train of thoughts derailed, she kept staring at the string of messages from Kara. Her calendar was full, but she didn’t think twice before replaying back with **“Sure”**._

_The coffee was as awkward as possible. Sam didn’t know what to say. She had no idea why Kara has reached out all of a sudden. Kara seemed to be on edge as well, her nervous energy evident from the continuous finger tapping on the table and she kept looking anywhere but at Sam. The conversation was broken at first with long pauses and broken sentences. Both of them were extra cautious to avoid any sensitive subject. Slowly the chat shifted towards L-Corp and CatCo and finally on Ruby. ___

____

_Kara had a lot to say, mainly that she has lied about Ruby. She never knew that Sam was Reign and has killed Alex. Lena and Winn came up with the cover story of Sam contracting an alien illness and being treated in a secure facility. Feed from her room, morphed and edited by Winn, was shown to her sometimes, along with some pictures._

_Kara looked so broken when she talked about Ruby. She didn’t visit her for weeks. Lena, with J’onn blessing, revealed Kara’s identity to her in order to explain her distantness. Cover story was that Kara was busy as Supergirl to find anything that can help with the cure and ensuring that there is no other alien threat. Sam tentatively reached out and held Kara’s hands as she spoke of how much sorry she was that she treated Ruby in this way, when she would have needed all the support. The fact that Kara didn’t flinch and let Sam hold her hands was a big win in Sam’s book._

* * *

_Days later, Kara invited Sam to her place for dinner. Just her, without Ruby, if she could. The way she sounded, Sam had an inkling that they would be facing their inner monsters that night.The start of their conversation as they ate was not as awkward as their last meeting. Common ground of Ruby, Lena, and work helped them through the meal. Kara broached the real topic once Sam was settled with a glass of wine on the couch._

_“I miss her, Sam.” The sadness laced her voice._

_“I miss her too. I keep thinking about that night and if I could have controlled Reign a moment early. I’m sorry Kara.”_

_“I should be the one apologizing here.” Sam was surprised to hear her broken but measured. She must have given a lot of thought on what she was about to say. “I never apologized. You were hurt and I piled on to your misery because I was miserable. I wanted to see you as hurt as I was, even more. I even dragged in Ruby to hurt you. I am so sorry, Sam.”_

_Sam wrapped Kara in as tight a hug as she could, as tears kept falling from their eyes. There was nothing else to be said that night._

* * *

_By the time, the game nights were arranged once again at Kara’s place, things have improved a lot. At least on the outside. Sam still had occasional panic attacks and nightmares. She would wake up sweaty, clutching the sheets and missing Alex so much that her heart ached. She would sometimes get random messages from Kara on trivial things and knew that Kara was missing Alex too._

_Slowly and slowly, everyone fell back in the comfortable routine of past. They would get together at Noonan’s or at the Alien Bar. Sam and Lena would invite others whenever there was a Gala at L-Corp or CatCo. Game nights with food boxes of different shapes and sizes, friendly competition, and laughter all around were once again a monthly event, if not sooner._

* * *

It was a long road to recovery for all of them, especially Kara and Sam. But they have endured and now were at a point where Kara was once again a loving aunt to Ruby and good friend to Sam. The Alex-shaped hole in their universe which started as a black hole has changed to their Sun with gentle warmth and guiding light of her memories. 

“Mom, Lena, did you see my pass for the second goal. The way the ball curved just beating the defenders. Coach said it was one of the best assist of the season.” Ruby slammed into Sam with a bone crushing hug. God, she has grown so much in these past years. Sam laughed lightly as she kissed her daughter and started walking towards their car while Lena and Ruby trailed behind discussing the finer points of game.

In these past years, Sam had blamed Reign, herself, even Alex, and finally the stars; but no more. She had spent a long time out of the sunshine, it was time to embrace it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Suggestion for Tags based on the story would be welcome.


End file.
